Note: I took down the rest of my blogmas post because I felt like they were too personal and depressing to look back on. I'm trying to create positivity and I refuse to have that chilling on my blog! Anyway to today's post!
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It's amazing how much we love to limit ourselves. I'm not referring to how we set timelines and guidelines, make lists and announce our plans to the Universe. I find those things to be rather useful and exciting. It's nice to plan ahead and set goals, even if you are unable to reach them because it is at least something to strive for. I'm talking about New Years. And yes, I am well aware that New Years happened a good 25 days ago. BUT 25 days can feel like a lifetime and surprisingly I am still finding #newyearnewme's floating along on my twitter feed.
When I talk about limiting ourselves I am referring to how we always leave things to the next day, the next year. Putting off the things we really should be doing every time we can because it would benefit us in the long run. It can range from being healthier to avoiding making hone calls. I know there have been many times this year where I have sunk my body into a pile of blankets, literally making myself a human burrito and opted to watch Netflix and scroll down tumblr to avoid the reality of my situation.
Fortunately, my year has started off as roller coaster and somehow I still have the motivation to try and unlock the person that I feel that I am capable of becoming; if I could just find a way to control my shyness and replace it with the confident dork I am capable of being.
When New Years came I wasn't mentally ready to sit down and half-ass a few resolutions that I would pretend to fulfill for the first 13 hours of the new year, only to forget and ignore them as soon as it was convenient too. I decided I wanted to be honest and hold myself accountable for things. I'm not the best person when it comes to things like that. In my sophomore year I made a Youtube video blabbing about how I was going to change my ways and lose all this weight and literally staple the mouths of my bullies shut. I shared it with some of my friends not realizing that when there are only 82 kids in your senior class, a video is bound to get around. Those goals weren't fulfilled for various reasons as I am still an overweight quiet blogger that I use to be. But in many ways I am different. I have taken leaps that required a huge amounts of bravery and have encounter difficult situations with a shaking yet firm stance. I have met people halfway and have learned to give a little more than I take. But it took me 4 years to get to a point where I could process everything I have learned and gone through.
At first glance I may be the same to the people around me yet I like to think that little sophomore Cielo would recognize and be proud of where I am in my life so far.
People like to think life is linear, one event after another and whenever one strays for the path it becomes a commotion. Everyone tells you to be yourself but usually it is the version of you that they feel comfortable with. Sometimes it is good to separate yourself from others. Become a hermit for a week and really understand what you want from life. In the end your life is yours alone and I for one, don't want to look back and have 101 regrets.
I guess the whole point of this post is that everyone waits until a new year or a new week to start making changes to their lives that they feel will make them happy. The hesitation comes from being afraid of change or how others react. Sometimes, they are just afraid that they won't succeed. But I think we shouldn't wait anymore, if there is something you want to change do it now. Even if its 11 pm at night and you are making tea thinking about how you want to be healthier but you will wait until the next day. Decide to do it then and maybe exchange your sugar for honey or better yet nothing at all. It is all about the baby steps. You don't have to change the world to make a change. The tinniest thing can still be more than what you were doing before.
Starting today, this will be the year that I push my limits. I may not get 8 hours of sleep but on the 25 of January 2016 I will look back on my "New Year" and be proud.
ooo
Cielo
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